Relationship Life Cycles

Life for me has been very hectic and interesting, disappointing and exciting and everything in between.

My daughter gave birth to her second son in October and my mother passed away in December. One was a super happy event and the other in contrast – very sad. Mum had been ill for some time. So on one hand it was a blessed relief that she passed. On the other, it brought to mind my own mortality. That was pretty depressing until I remembered the larger picture of death and rebirth. Life cycles are here whether we want to acknowledge them or not. And what more of a contrast than the birth of a child and the loss of a mother?

The two events also reinforced a very important concept of making the most of every day. Sometimes it is easy to forget that each day is a gift. Rather than asking the question, “I wonder what today will bring?”, I’m wondering how many people ask the other question, “I wonder what I can bring to this day?”

The same applies to relationships. People are prone to think along the lines of what they can receive from others rather than what they can offer to others. Sometimes all it takes is a warm smile or embrace to make another person’s day a better one.

Relationships also have life cycles. Different stages of relationship often bring new challenges and learning. It is common for a relationship to have a crisis about every seven years. It represents a crossroad on the relationship journey and sometimes the relationship might end at this point if a couple aren’t willing to do the work. Statistically separation and/or divorce is common at an interval of 7, 14 and 21 years into a relationship.

Relationship is a dynamic process. It is an experience rather than a thing that you can hang on a wall and say, “Oh that is my relationship. Isn’t it nice?” A wedding photo is an example. There it is. The proof of a happy event. But what about the doing stuff?

Do you remember to smile at each other every day? Do you offer a kind word or deed every day? Do you remember to have fun? Do you engage in loving, satisfying, regular sex? Do you still hug and kiss? How often do you show-and-tell “I love you”?

What challenges are you facing now with your relationship? Are you at or near a seven year cycle. What is the cycle about? How are you as a couple being asked to develop and grow in your relationship?

Wishing you love in your life,

Christine L Bennett

Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
MAppSci-Soc-Eco(CPPP) | CMCAPA (10366), |PACFA Reg. 20566 |AIRTA Member

Web: http://www.caring4couples.com.au
Email: christine@caring4couples.com.au

Tel: 1300 880 448 Mob: 0418 226 961
Postal Address: PO Box 420 Spit Junction Mosman 2088
Practice Address: Mosman Professional Centre,
Level 1 Bridgepoint, 3 Brady Street Mosman